Ex's
2007-02-07
Break ups suck. There is no way around it. See here is my problem, I don't think it's too hard to stay friends after a break up. Here is the catch though, the only way this works is if the break up is mutual. If one person was burned by the other though a friendship is just really out of the question. Feelings are still lingering along with the bitter after taste of being dumped and continuing to talk and bring them to the surface just makes things worse. On the other hand maybe asking to be friends is a selfish move. Maybe it is just so the person asking can feel better about what they're doing and make the transition a little easier.
I am really not sure the answer to this or what is the "right" thing to do but judging from my situation I think it can either be all or nothing....the gray area just isn't going to work. I truely love my ex and wish him the best in life. When I broke up with him and asked to be friends I looked at it as just because we didn't work out doesn't mean we have to totally cut off contact with eachother, I mean not to long ago this man was my best friend and a huge part of my life...it'd be nice to know we are still here in the wings for eachother if the other person ever needs anything or just wants to talk.
I have realized after many unneccesary nights of fighting when we were supposed to be just "friends" that I can no longer get what I hoped for at the beginning of our break up. I recieved a text last night calling me a "Fake-ass retard" WTF? I've been with this man for over a year and the best he can do is this? I don't need a so called friend like this in my life and I think it's going to take more in me to completely cut him out of my life than it did to break up with him but it's what I need to do. I am very aware that in time this will seem like a distant memory and I'll wonder what I was ever thinking holding on to such a disfuntional relationship but it's hard to see this future when you're so caught up with the past and "what might have been."
One thing is for sure, next time I invest my heart into a relationship it is going to be with a guy that I know will not step all over it and take me for granted. It's weird but this relationship has given me much more confidence than I had going into it that I can walk away from it and be okay being alone because I am not going to settle for second best just because I am lonely. I'll find that guy one day that will sweep me off my feet but for right now I am going to focus on me and just be happy with myself and where my life is going because I don't need a man to define that.
Okay that's enough break up talk, I think I need more sleep.
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