Dumpers Remorse
2007-04-25
Ok, I bought this book...."It's called a breakup because it's broken" (yes it got to that point!) LOL and what I am suffering from would be considered "dumpers remorse" I moved out, I broke the relationship off and for some reason I cannot get over this thing! Of course we were on and off after I moved out but as of a few weeks ago an extremely bad night happened (this would require another blog) and now we officially are over and to the extent of, unless I run into him at some bar, we will never see eachother again. This is a hard pill to swallow. Truth is I dont want to get back together and when we were kinda dating after I moved out everytime I was with him I was thinking of all the other cool things I could be doing. This guy is really not a good person, he treated me like shit for 90% of our relationship and slept around. In the end though I knew I could do whatever I wanted and he would always come back....this time I could treat him like shit and know he would always be the one to call and patch things up in the morning. This is no longer the case and I know there will be no more emails or voicemails wanting to "talk." He's been sleeping with a new girl, she's all over his damn myspace and she leaves comments on his friend's pages too!!! This bothers me WAY more than it should, I almost feel betrayed...I thought his friends liked me and now all of the sudden they just welcome this new chick in like she hadn't just slept with him the first night they met and wasn't a total slut. I think about him way more now than I ever did before...even when we were together...this is sad. I wonder what he's doing and if he's with "her" I just wish these feelings would go away and I could drive by where he lives and not get all radar looking for his car or go to places we used to go together and not think about him. I know once I find another guy that I like and am dating I will think less and less of the exboyfriend but I just wish this could happen now because I don't want to have to feel the need to find another guy right away just to get over the last one. I have been seeing some other people and really it is just not there for me. I hang out with them and just kinda feel like I am going through the motions...I can't even bring myself to have rebound sex! wtf...everyone deserves that and when it comes down to it I run away. ON a positive note I am really trying to do some productive and good things for myself...such as focusing on school and starting up with a personal trainer and most importantly not turning into a drunk lush everytime I feel down or upset. Alcohol is my escape and I hate it, I dont want to drink just because I cant deal with my own emotions. I need to face them, feel them and move on....this is just easier said than done. Okay well just wanted to get that off my chest because I found a comment on a friends page from "her" and felt that blogging might be a better way to wind down then, say pour a drink of heaven forbid pick up the phone and call him...that would be the last of my self pride going down the drain as we know it.Created with ShoutPost
